I need to unfold a truth that might seem a bit astonishing to some people. I hate to let anyone down, but jumping into a big pile of leaves isn't really that much fun. You rake and rake until you get blisters and there is a huge pile of decay about the size of Kilamanjaro. Your anticipation mounts as you recall all those zany cartoons where the little guys are jumping and tossing and rolling in a pile of leaves the texture of goosedown. For some strange reason, you think it's going to be the same exhilirating experience. At the climax of your leap you whisper a short "O, God, thank You" and sail through the air with care free ease. Then, it happens. The mountain soon collapses under the immense weight of your body (blast those extra snickers) and your rump hits the ground with such force it feels as though your cocyx is now your 4th vertebrae. Wee, this is fun, you think to yourself knowing that you must have made the first attempt in error. Something about physics...what was it? Law of gravity? Heck, you can't really remember so you try it one more time. Come on! There's got to be some magic in this, like a leap of faith, right? As you make another attempt at soaring on clouds of freedom another bruising thud and lacerating rocks, sticks and those pointy tips on dead leaves shocks you into reality. Maybe this isn't all that it's cracked up to be? It seems impossible, but no... it's true.

So, in conclusion, let me expose this as a myth: Jumping in leaves during the fall months is an extra curricular activity one should embrace with passion and zest.

I think in my next life I should like to be my own dog. I actually have two of them and really either one would do just fine for me. Lap of luxury? Yeah, that's my lap right now. The one they sit in all the time to demand my affection that I so willingly give. They get attention from everyone that walks in the door and at anytime someone starts annoying them, they can just walk out of the room thinking, 'man, what idiots' and no one gets their feelings hurt over it. Doesn't that sound fun? They can pretty much come and go as they please, because I'm at their every beck and call. They whine? I come running. They scratch at the door? I let them out. They scratch at the door? I let them in. Yes, this reoccuring event happens at least 15-27 times per day. I wipe their feet everytime they come in and give them treats almost everytime they go out. They sunbathe and chase squirrels all day long. I love sunbathing. I could learn to love chasing squirrels, those pesky little furry rodents. Why won't they leave my pecans alone? Anyway, my sweet canines get more affection from my significant other than I do. They're not expected to pick up, clean up, freshen up; they accomplish nothing more than depositing their refuse on the ground in strategically placed areas and they're praised for being the world's most brilliant creatures because they have learned the art of manipulating their masters. I'm starting to get jealous. I could start every night on a big, fluffy dogbed and wake in the morn with my head on my masters' pillow while they are practically falling off the other side of the bed. I like sleeping horizontally in bed. So, Buddy, Stewart watch out. You might be in some Freaky Friday experience where we switch bodies, then you'll have to go to work and write boring blogs when you're not supposed to. For me: squirrel tetrazzini, squirrel a-la-mode, squirrel quiche, squirrel kabobs, squirrel patties, squirrel cream pie shakes, squirrel pizza, SLT sandwich, squirrel tots...

Yes, hello, and good evening. It's been a fortnite since I've journalled. Fall is tapping on my shoulder. I told it to hold on for a moment because I wanted to go out on the jet skiis one more time. I saw my first school bus in months driving down the road, vacant seats waiting to be filled with nervous boys and chatty girls. I think I'd like to go buy a trapper keeper for ol' times sake, or a great lunch pail with a thermos inside. Does anyone out there still remember Ziggy? I had a Ziggy lunch pail over a decade ago. Where is he off to now? I remember coming home and watching Gummy Bears and TailSpin and Ducktales and Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers- so who took the innocence out of kid cartoons? Who said everyone wants to watch Japanamation and kick butt teen superheroes all the time? Gimme a break. Have you noticed that the scene change is like every two seconds which contributes to the rise of ADD and ADHD in young children who brainwash themselves on the sporadic bursts of characters and colors? Don't get me started on sugar consumption.

Hmm, darn, why won't they sit still...?

So, good luck all you kiddos out there who are toting brand new backpacks and squeaking down the hall in your new tennies. The smell of chalk dust and rain is in the air!

This new way "they" are doing the replies is funnier than some blog entries I read. These little info ads at the bottom are never really about what the entry is discussing. So, to see what kind of random ads I can pull out of this little machine let's talk about... jet packs. Do they have jet packs for sale? I'd almost like to click on the link to find out. Jet packs are every kids dream toy. Slap that thing on and fly to school. But, if you had a jet pack, you'd probably be so rich you had private tutoring, then you could fly to 50 Penn Place, cause the mall would be too low class. Yet, the jet pack would enable you to go thousands of more miles in the same amount of time so I suppose the kid would go to Tiffanys and hopefully this kid would be a girl or that might be a little odd...

I'm sure she would get bugs in her teeth from going so fast so she would need to purchase goggles. And if she stayed out too late shopping (like what girl doesn't who shops at Tiffanys) she would need goggles with night vision. So, yeah, jet packs are cool.